My voice is lost in the tide
of people
clamoring to be heard,
but thats fine.
I will wait
for someone
to notice that I too speak
because I don't want to be heard
by someone
who isn't ready to listen.
I live a life of questions
forever asking
without expecting an answer
content with simply asking
but now
confronted with people
asking
for my answers
I am unsure
the Questions,
so familiar,
now crumble at my touch
when once
I could run away
with a thought,
an idea,
possibilities.
Now I feel trapped
by answers,
expectations.
Why can't I live
with questions
imprinted on my soul?
Another unanswered question.
How do you know?
I have asked myself many times
and asked others,
What is the difference
between friendship and love.
But now I understand
why I was so blind to the answer.
How can you know
when you're looking in the wrong places?
It was her, on my 18th birthday,
no
before that
there were others
I admired, watched without action
thought to myself,
this is creepy,
to stare at someone.
say something
but my mouth could not open.
But she, she was really the first
on my 18th birthday.
She taught me feelings
it felt like more
familiar but new
and exciting, yes.
But that's not why.
I catch myself
noticing how her body mov
What is a name?
The beginning of a life
suddenly defined
by this alien word.
And now
you are
that word.
It becomes you.
controlling the outcome
of your life?
Shakespeare would not agree.
Did he consider the implications?
A word
once spoken
gains history
gains meaning
then it becomes your word
your history
your future.
fear surrounds-
a shield,
or a cage
separating humanity-
we're trapped
in the familiarity of it,
the simplicity.
so much easier to push
then to pull.
oh how I want to pull
close to my heart
too close
I'm scared.
you're scared.
Hold my hand?
I fall into bed
my head hits the pillow
and an ant crawls out
followed by another
steadily marching
over my arm
I look on
in horror
as they kiss my skin
exploring the surface
of my body
more escape their cotton confines
to grope my hairs
sensing my fear,
they are provoked
they emerge
with eyes glinting madness
scouring my body
until I dissapear
We walk
in a world silenced
with the weight of snow
all around
Cold fluff crawling
into our shoes
an inescapable plague
all of that silencing cold
was a passing thought
to your concrete presence
but the image shatters
the pieces no longer fit
now I walk alone
assaulted by a winter's day
comforting chatter no longer
drifts from your mouth
to my ears
I can see
in the distance
a figure swallowed by snow
the value of your warmth rises
as I wonder if it is you
I walk toward
or another love
to stand in your place
Could the world be
just a scene
a moment on the screen
being watched by people
who feel
and think
like us
but not quite
are we real
what if
the sky is just a backdrop
the universe a set
and we
play out the script
My voice is lost in the tide
of people
clamoring to be heard,
but thats fine.
I will wait
for someone
to notice that I too speak
because I don't want to be heard
by someone
who isn't ready to listen.
I live a life of questions
forever asking
without expecting an answer
content with simply asking
but now
confronted with people
asking
for my answers
I am unsure
the Questions,
so familiar,
now crumble at my touch
when once
I could run away
with a thought,
an idea,
possibilities.
Now I feel trapped
by answers,
expectations.
Why can't I live
with questions
imprinted on my soul?
Another unanswered question.
How do you know?
I have asked myself many times
and asked others,
What is the difference
between friendship and love.
But now I understand
why I was so blind to the answer.
How can you know
when you're looking in the wrong places?
It was her, on my 18th birthday,
no
before that
there were others
I admired, watched without action
thought to myself,
this is creepy,
to stare at someone.
say something
but my mouth could not open.
But she, she was really the first
on my 18th birthday.
She taught me feelings
it felt like more
familiar but new
and exciting, yes.
But that's not why.
I catch myself
noticing how her body mov
What is a name?
The beginning of a life
suddenly defined
by this alien word.
And now
you are
that word.
It becomes you.
controlling the outcome
of your life?
Shakespeare would not agree.
Did he consider the implications?
A word
once spoken
gains history
gains meaning
then it becomes your word
your history
your future.
fear surrounds-
a shield,
or a cage
separating humanity-
we're trapped
in the familiarity of it,
the simplicity.
so much easier to push
then to pull.
oh how I want to pull
close to my heart
too close
I'm scared.
you're scared.
Hold my hand?
I fall into bed
my head hits the pillow
and an ant crawls out
followed by another
steadily marching
over my arm
I look on
in horror
as they kiss my skin
exploring the surface
of my body
more escape their cotton confines
to grope my hairs
sensing my fear,
they are provoked
they emerge
with eyes glinting madness
scouring my body
until I dissapear
We walk
in a world silenced
with the weight of snow
all around
Cold fluff crawling
into our shoes
an inescapable plague
all of that silencing cold
was a passing thought
to your concrete presence
but the image shatters
the pieces no longer fit
now I walk alone
assaulted by a winter's day
comforting chatter no longer
drifts from your mouth
to my ears
I can see
in the distance
a figure swallowed by snow
the value of your warmth rises
as I wonder if it is you
I walk toward
or another love
to stand in your place
Could the world be
just a scene
a moment on the screen
being watched by people
who feel
and think
like us
but not quite
are we real
what if
the sky is just a backdrop
the universe a set
and we
play out the script
[x] the dark [I feel like I'm being watched]
[ ] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[x] closed spaces [If I touch the edges, my brain goes numb with panic that I will get stuck]
[x] heights [Only if I'm too close to the edge of something where I could fall]
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[x] spiders [don't like them]
[ ] flowers or other plants
[x] being touched [I flinch if someone reaches toward me too fast]
[x] fire [only when someone else is controlling it, like a lighter]
[x] deep water [I can't swim very well]
[ ] snakes [I love them]
[ ] silk
[ ]
Tomorrow I am going to be uploading my first through and through happy poem ever and some new photography. I am now a freshman in college and sadly I am not taking any art classes and most likely will not be taking any for two years (after I graduate this school and move on to another). I am still doing art Its just taking awhile with all this college stuff =p